Monday, February 15, 2016

Back thens and could have beens

A dear friend and I were sitting in her car, having just dropped off both of our younger sisters at their 4h meeting. 
It was an early summer evening where the air still had a slight nip, the sun just started to set casting a warm golden haze across everything. The younger members were running about their leaders farm yard, waiting for their meeting (the group ages ranged from 9 to 17). 
The car windows were down and the sound of the kids laughter filled the background as my friend and I talked.
Our conversation started with us wishing we did 4h,which (as usual)  grew into a conversation about our dreams for our someday children, about when either of us get married, our dream homes and so was just a normal visit nothing special or unique about it. Little did I know that that small insignificant moment would become a fond memory.

Looking back now, I wish I appreciated that moment....all those moments; when the world was my oyster and all my dreams and wishes were just waiting to come true. 

I get caught in a vicious cycle at times, looking back at those fond insignificant memories- like the time the same friend as above, and I were on our way home from a day out shopping. It was Christmas time and our discussion fell on children believing in Santa; did you believe, will your someday children believe, and so on...
Now, here we are both 25, not married, no children (unless cats count)...those memories and dreams seem to have become could have beens (you're 25? You'll be single forever here's your crazy cat lady kit)...

It's silly though, how you reach a certain age and feel like there's no point in dreaming. 
I guess when I was younger I thought if I wasn't married I'd have my own business or I'd have money and explore new places...both of which didn't happen...

But you know what. I've decided to stop having the back then and could have beens rule my mind. I'm going to start looking back and smiling with fondness not with regrets...
I can still dream...I still have more than enough time to get married and start a family. I may have to work and save for several years before I can go on a short mildly local vacation; but I appreciate every moment of that hard earned vaca...

Dream on my readers. Dream on.
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  1. Love you as big as the sky my friend!!! <3

    1. Love you too! You are such an amazing person who speaks and dreams with all her heart!