Friday, May 3, 2013

Gods plan for me

In two weeks my younger brother, Remington, gets married. He's only 19...yes, I am happy for him! Yes, I am excited for his fiance, Shea, to join our family...but, I can't help think why him? Why not me?

Do you ever have those days where you feel nothing but jealousy and hate towards those who's life (according to you) seems to be Gods main priority? All my friends are getting married or starting families why not me? Why did he get the job and not me? Why do I have to live pay check to pay check while so-in-so is going on yet another vacation. God must not care about me; why is he making me suffer; putting my life on hold while so-in-so's life if moving along perfectly. I'm the one who prays everyday, I read the bible, I'm the one who actually wants to live my life to please God! So-in-so is doing what ever they please, they only believe God created the earth and Jesus died for them, they don't care about pleasing God! I wish for once something would go right for me. 
Do you ever feel left out, unloved or forgotten by God?
All I can say is, been there done that...there are days I wake up and think; why am I working so hard to live a life that pleases God when so-in-so does what he wants and his life is perfect?! 
First off; I'm not so-in-so, I'm Gabrielle. Why do I think I have the right to judge, hate and envy so-in-so? Be honest. Am I really pleasing and honoring God by feeding these thoughts? No, I am not...in fact I think I'm probably disappointing Him. 
If you look at everything like a test from God, your view point really changes....I'm failing this test! In this test I'm suppose to be trusting God, not putting thoughts and worries into tomorrow, I'm suppose to be happy for so-in-so and I'm suppose to find all the good in my situation but I'm not, I'm wallowing if self pitty....
I.E. Living pay check to pay check is a major pain...it's hard and stressful, and yes, nobody enjoys it! But instead of always hating and woe as me you can use it as a reminder of how much you need God! And when you get a better job you'll appreciate it that much more! 

Yes, I'm jealous of my younger brother getting married before me, but you know what? I'm OK with it, I don't want to settle. I want the man God has planned for me...in the mean time, I have more time to spend with God....
Gabrielle W.
"The Lord directs the steps of a christian. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." Psalms 37:23-24

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