Thursday, March 29, 2012

Skirts and Sun Burn

This blog is a week and a half old, I was working on it before Baby's passing.....so rather than just retype it I'm going to just post it as it would of been posted, happy like nothing bad could happen.

It's been in the 80's this past week, and I'm loving it!
I don't miss the cold weather at all, but I won't lie, I do wish we had at least one really good snow storm! There wasn't one time this year that was a snow man building, snowball throwing, hot coco drinking day...
One well, onto spring! It's getting to be very colorful here, purple, yellow, white and pink flowers blooming, green leaves on bushed and trees, and wonderful lush green pastures.
I was busy this week building a new chicken tractor...correction, I designed, Spencer cut and constructed the tractor for me, I painted and then put on the chicken wire.
Baby kept me company the entire time I worked on the tractor, bouncing on and off the trailer that sat near by, running and ducking under the shade part of the tractor in an attempt to escape the heat.
I moved Lullaby, Miss Milly. Mr. Rooster-he doesn't really have a name- and Samantha's cochin hens (the ones that I had just moved into the old tractor) into the new one.
I haven't gotten to putting the latches on-that's why there are bricks holding down the two doors. Also; the metal on top of the tractor doesn't belong there; the night before the rain decided to come the opposite directions than it normally does, there for raining right into the shelter.
Though the square footage is the same, the new tractor is wider and has more wing room.
I love being able to get outside and get things done; because of the warm weather I ditched my jeans and escaped into the free feeling, wind flowing, feminine skirts I had put away until spring. Don't get me wrong, I love jeans, but after a good four months of wearing nothing but jeans, and the fact that I only had two pairs of jeans all winter, it's nice to wear something else!

 ......There, I braved the heartache and posted a new blog since loosing Baby...
Though she was Samantha's kid, Samantha was at collage all day, so I took care of her. It was so hard "moving on" because I saw her everywhere! I'd see her laying under the kitchen table, or laying in the corner of the bathroom (where she stayed when I took a shower). I'd see her bouncing on and off the flower pot that sat on the porch. I'd see her playing in the barn as I walked on the treadmill. I'd feel her tugging and playing with my skirt...I'd feel her lay her head down on my lap to take a nap as I watched TV..........

The blame and guilt isn't as strong but it's still there.....all week I just keep telling myself; It will get better, it will get better, everyday is a day further from the heartbreak, it will get better, you can do this.....I also kept singing the line from the song "Your Hands" by JJ Heller- "When my heart is breaking I never leave YOUR hands."
 
Gabrielle W.
"The Lord directs the steps of a christian. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." Psalms 37:23-24

2 comments:

  1. I know you hate to see me Cry... But One Day You Will Set All Things Right.... :) I'm praying for you my dear sweet sister. I hope your Easter is full of Happiness and Blessings as we remember that Our Sins Put Christ on the Cross, but His Love for Us Kept him There! It will get better. I love you. :)

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  2. Thank you so much for the comment; I know one day if will get better and that's what keeps me going when the pain seems over whelming. I know that to some it may seem silly to be so heart broken over a goat, but as you know, my animals are my baby's and even if we're not keeping it when I care for one I put my heart into them 100%.

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