Friday, January 21, 2011

The desire to be desired

Have you ever been walking in a mall, having lunch with friends, shopping with your sister or just out in public at the library or a fair, and you look at all the men (or boys depending on your age) in the area, and just wished with all your heart that they would look at you with an approving smile, that at makes you feel beautiful, and desired.
I've had many, many, MANY moments like this.

It's a fact about every person, male or female, whether they admit it or not, everyone has a desire to be desired, a desire to be needed,  a desire to be loved, a desire to be wanted.
Not just desired sexual, or intellectually, but to be desired as a whole. To be desired for ones body, mind and spirit.

Have you ever had those moments where, walking down the street, guys driving by completely ignore you but they notice the other girl who's walking ahead of you, whistling and yelling at her...
Your mind rushes to, "of course they're yelling at and 'hitting' on that girl, she's so pretty, and elegant.
She never slouches and has a perfect vocabulary, she walks like she's gliding and has the fashion sense of every celebrity out there; she has the perfect face shape with the perfect nose, she's so fit, I bet she's a size 4, her boobs are perfect and perky. She's every essence of feminine....and here I am, a size 10, my nose showing some of my native American heritage, meaning it's not a perfect little nose. And gosh, if I'm not wearing a bra my boobs take the shape of a lower case b and are almost non existent...of course guys don't talk to me, I'm not pretty. I'm not feminine at all I guess. Why did God make me ugly? Why did he bless HER with the beauty ..."

All those negative thoughts, are they mine? Well, yes, but you see, Satan was feeding them to me. Maybe not Satan himself (come on, he's not like God he can't be everywhere at once and I'm sure he has better things, you know like government folks, to bother) but one of his demons (I'll just pretend it was Satan though, so I have a name to use). And the problem is, I started believing him. I started agreeing with Satan that I wasn't pretty, I start questioning God.

Fact is, God loves me, I'm not supermodel hot, but God delights in my beauty. And, OK, so I'm not getting yelled at, but who cares, somewhere out there is the man that find me beautiful. How much am I putting down God and my future hubby by hoping  that someone (a complete stranger) might find me beautiful for only 5 seconds before he goes and yells at the girl 2 blocks down? 
God created us to want to be desired. To be chased. We need to learn to control that desire to be needed. (Remember, Guys give love- for sex, where girls give sex to get love).
We already have someone better that that guy driving by desiring us! We are desired by God, and one day we will be desired in the most precious way by the man God has picked out for us! The man who will love you for you! The man you will love with all your heart.
Warm wishes,
Gabrielle W.
"The Lord directs the steps of a christian. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." Psalms 37:23-24

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