Wednesday, December 1, 2010

December

Wow, I can't believe it's December already, 31 more days and it will we 2011!
This year so much and at the same time, so little has changed. 
What has changed? I have more goats, a baby doll ewe and a pair of call ducks. I am more secure and happy with who I am (though I still struggle).
What hasn't changed? My dad still hasn't found a job...he applies practically everyday, and once, for several days in a row, he put in over 36 applications, and still nothing. Rather he likes it or not, he's in a depression. Which worries me, first, police officers are know to die early from all the stress there jobs cause (he was a police officer for over 10 years). Second, he doesn't watch what he eats, he'll eat a dozen cookies in one day. Third, he doesn't work out and keep his heart strong. And finally, as I said, he's in a depression. All he does is sit at the computer or listen to his talk shows....I'm so afraid of him dieing early....What also hasn't changed is me...*sigh* how to put it....me not feeling a little lost in life? I'll describe it....OK, so, I don't have a regular job (I really don't want a regular job, I'll stick to my seasonal ones), I don't have my licence (yes, I am 20 and I still don't have my drivers license, driving scares me really bad!), and I don't have a boy friend...I know, I know, that's a strange thing to feel lost about; but, this is my blog and a place for me to vent, and the one thing I want in life is to be a wife and mom, and to accomplish that I first need a boyfriend. (I can hear God laughing).
I've never felt special. My older brother is the first, and so he has rights there. My sister, has...has always been special. She's had all the lessons and money spent on her. And then my two younger brothers are the baby's and are spoiled rotten... I know it sounds like I'm being a cry baby "woe and you Gabrielle"......Of, my entire family I feel the most left out.....Well, now that that depressing part is done with, back to the typical optimistic blogger.

It's snowing. The first real snow fall of the season. How...right with the season! "I'm dreaming, of a white Christmas..." lets see if we get one this year! I love watching snow fall, beautiful lace-like powder drifting from the heavens... I enjoy winter. as I said, I'm an optimist. Hot coco, warm blankets and cookies.

Christmas is just around the bend! I have all my gifts purchased! I'm going to decorate the house today and maybe get the tree tomorrow! I love giving gifts! Just ask my mom, I've always been a giver, since I was young I'd spend my dollar on something for my siblings rather than me. I love Christmas time! It's a time to give, and eat, and spend time with family. But most of all, it's time to celebrate Jesus birthday.
Dad and Spencer are hunting. They've been gone since Sunday. Let's pray they get a deer! I don't have much going on. Being winter the farm kind of comes to a pause. Yeah, we have to feed/water the animals, but there's no mowing, weeding, planting...the pause button is on! Since I don't have a job, a boyfriend, or lots of friends, not much goes on.
But I'm use to it and it gives me free time to talk to God- the bestest friend in the world!!

Gabrielle W.
"The Lord directs the steps of a christian. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." Psalms 37:23-24

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